If you could go back in time and tell your 18-year-old self one piece of advice, what would you tell yourself?

Don’t worry so much, learn to be patient, don’t make rash decisions when you can’t fully oversee the effects and consequences.

Start working out regularly at 18 instead of 30.

Stop being a dumbass.

Save money.

For longterm happiness, try to select someone to fall in love with based on criteria important to you *other than looks.*

Enjoy that waistline while it lasts!

Change Majors.

Come out as soon as possible. Mom and dad will react very negatively at first, but within two years they will be your biggest cheerleaders.

Buy more lottery tickets.

Use Sunscreen

Maintain a Stable Weight

Don't engage in the gay mainstream.

Buy high quality bed and bath linens.

You are talented, you just don't know it. Stand up for yourself, never compromise your ideas, some day you will win awards for it.

Quit smoking NOW

Make sure they're dead.

Floss

Lose weight now while it’s easy, you fat fuck.

Yes, those guys in college are really flirting with you, so don’t be a shy, oblivious, nerd and go for it.

Don’t touch the figs.

Numquam ubi sub ubi.

Stop looking for the golden cock. If you hook up with a guy you seem to get along with and they like you, see them again and try to make a go of it.

When I think of the time I’ve wasted in the endless pursuit of cock. If I’d have given just a tiny fraction of that time to try and establish a relationship, I wouldn’t have spent my life single. But back then I was so horny I could think of nothing else. It’s like I spent decades handcuffed to a lunatic. It’s been a relief to finally be over that.

Luckily I really like being on my own and do have some good friends, just as well really.

Work out.

Take the entertainment job, not the news job.

Don’t drink four hurricanes at Mardi Gras, no matter how hot and thirsty you get.

Great amswers so far. I would tell myself to be patient, it all works out..Fortunately it did all workout but as Ive no patience ut seemed to take forever.

Go to a better college instead of one near home. Be a slut while you're still a twink.

Don’t bother to read this post.

Take care of that cholesterol problem

Get away from your parents. They are damaging you,

Go and get your Man! Kick every bitch who stands in your way in the cuntbone!

Back to front.

Be true to your teeth or they'll be false to you.

stop worrying about pleasing others.It only gets you in trouble and winds up pleasing no one. Please yourself.

I would say: "Just come out already and fuck what those bastards think!" I would also say: "Dont waste your 20s looking for love and validation love yourself instead." And finally: "Get a gym membership you skinny little shit!"

Learn to use your words carefully. The tongue is soft but it can break bones.

A good appearance is a good recommendation. Pay attention to grooming. "Dress to please others".

When everyone's playing the rebel then nobody's a rebel. Take the easy path.

Spend your upcoming 20s establishing your career and building wealth.

Chasing dick is a waste of fucking time.

You’re not meant to be emaciated and farty and fatigued and unlovable, you’re just gluten intolerant.

(I suffered in confusion until age 32)

[quote] One condition: The advice can’t be related to money.

For me, don't follow all the rules and artificial limitations that others place on you.

So with that in mind:

Buy lots of Google.com stock at its IPO. Also Amazon.com stock. And Microsoft stock. And Apple stock.

Stop drinking NOW

[quote] Don’t worry so much, learn to be patient

In fairness to your old self, I don't think I've ever been in a highly stressful situation where some outsider says, "Stay calm and don't worry, " and it actually helped.

But maybe there would have been value in getting with an instructor who teaches mediation and other related skillsets.

I would listen to myself more and not stretch myself too thin by trying to be everything to everyone. I would also have studied the piano with more seriousness when I was younger. I lacked a certain discipline at the time, and it was only when I was in my late 20's and playing at a restaurant in Ogunquit, Maine, that I realized that my playing was not all I wanted it to be.

I would also tell myself to be more compassionate to others and try to make a difference especially in the early years of the AIDS epidemic. Instead of cowering out of fear, I should have jumped into the fray and helped in any way that I could.

If he only tells you he loves you right before he cums, don't believe him.

Buy Apple stock.

Block R35 in 1986

When you're 24 you're going to meet a man named N----- C-----. Run away from him as fast as you can, because if you don't the next two years will be a drama-filled shitshow.

Study harder!

Enjoy every second of being able to eat pizza and burgers late at night and not have to worry about gaining a single pound or losing your 31" waist. This is NOT going to last forever, believe me.

Do not eat at the China Fun restaurant on 2nd Ave. in February of 1998. You will never be more sick in your life and you will worry that you're about to fucking die.

No one ever wants to hear what you really think.

R47 = thread killer

Overcome fear.

Don’t be hostage to the fears and baggage of your youth.

You can change your thought patterns if they aren’t serving you.

R38 in this scenario it wouldn’t be a random outsider saying those words, but future Me! I should hope my words would carry a little more gravitas.

Don't worry what fucking college you get into. It really, truly doesn't matter. Just work hard wherever you go and take all the challenging courses, including MATH.

Nobody who's not an asshole will care where you went to college. They'll care about skills, knowledge, performance, and whether you're a nice co-worker or boss.

Jump

Warn all your wonderful gay friends about a potentially deadly disease that profligates with unsafe, unprotected sex. Make them hear you.

I lost half my friends to the AIDS epidemic.

Don’t have sex with your teacher during your senior year.

Junior year?

More sex.

What Kamala Harris' mother told her:

"Never let anyone tell you who you are. You show them who you are!"

Seriously. I wish I'd said it to myself when I was a teenager and every year after.

Get it while you can.

Moisturize.

DO NOT LET FEAR CONTROL YOUR DECISIONS AND LIFE.

I’d warn myself that I was going to spend a really long, crucial period of my time as a carer for other people, and that it would drive me to the brink of self-destruction, so I would have to learn to like myself and gather the strength to start again, physically and mentally, when hat time ended.

That’s where I am now, but it has taken me a few years to accept that reality. Now I have to act on it.

[quote] "Never let anyone tell you who you are. You show them who you are!"

Well, unless you're a whore.

Don't be ashamed or afraid of who you are, you deserve love too. You are worthy and you do not have to settle for someone who can't love you back.

Spend more time alone.

Your own opinion is enough and is valid.

See a dietician and count calories.

Trust your instincts and keep your distance from, or let go of, people you dimly sense aren't great for you. Easier said than done in the proximate mix of life, but at least listen to those warning inner voices.

R37 fuck right off.

Just because you are an alcoholic doesn’t mean we all are.

R67 apparently that hit a nerve with you? But R37 was merely saying what he would tell his 18-year old self, he wasn’t trying to impose a rule on all of humanity.

But now that we’re on the subject, R67 — when did you last have your liver checked?

Spread your legs. Take the dicks. Let those older men fuck you.

R2, R8, and R31 are the best posts on this thread.

I’d tell my 18 year-old self if you think you’re being taken advantage of by “friends,” there’s a decent chance you are.

Actually, I recant in regards to R8 (no offense); Not everyone’s parents will become like R8’s parents.

This might stir controversy, but I’d tell my younger self to prioritize dating people that grew up in the same social class as you. My most stable relationships were with people who were in the same class as me as we had quite a lot in common and can relate to one another easily.

R72 Harsh as it sounds, it makes perfect sense.

Maybe not so much a specific "class" but more like sharing a similar background..

1. Yes, you are that kind of gay and the femmy gays will only be patient for so long waiting for you to drop the bullshit

2. If you are called on to explain a friend’s behavior to strangers repeatedly, that is not your friend. You are using someone to fill the void of frenemies Matt or Hilary.

3. You’re short; go for girth over length

4. Never blow into his asshole when it’s time to break up. It’s not funny.

R68 last checked early last month as part of my annual blood tests, as usual no problems, thanks for asking.

Well let’s drink to that, shall we R75

Get outta town NOW. I lingered for 5 years after high school, working shit fast food and grocery jobs. Just wasted time.

Eyes on your own paper.

R55, I’m glad you had sex with me. I’ll never regret that.

Don't bottom, AIDS is coming.

Let the narcissists go, and don’t let them in when they come back with their phony apologies. They’re only using you to boost their ego when they can’t get attention from anyone else. They’re distracting you from caring for yourself. Be patient, focus on your talent and skills that will earn you a good living, and work on self-care and social skills, because only then will you be ready for true love when it comes out of nowhere in your 30s.

Trust no one who hasn't earned your trust.

You not a victim you're an enabler.

I’d tell myself to squash my white picket fence dream ASAP.

realizing that I was never gonna get married and have kids was probably the hardest pill to swallow.

Stay the fuck away from Donald Potter. He's an energy vampire that will torment you for years.

Eat more ass.

Fuck everything.

Buy bitcoin!

Eat more fiber.

I should think r4's future self would tell him, "Learn how to follow directions."

don't smoke. don't drink. and don't have any relationships - just concentrate on your education and finish your PhD. Concentrate on your own needs and set yourself up. You will have an amazing earning potential, but avoid taking care of so many people and make sure you keep some for yourself.

Kid, you're so much better looking than you think. You're no male model, but you're just fine.

Oh, and start saving money. Now.

Only the Goyim pay retail.

Don't stop tap dancing.

You'd be happier just being a tap dancer and nothing else.

[quote] Trust your instincts and keep your distance from, or let go of, people you dimly sense aren't great for you. Easier said than done in the proximate mix of life, but at least listen to those warning inner voices.

This was worth repeating, r66 because it's right on.

Also, when it comes to big decisions, listen to your inner voice - that's your own heart speaking to you. At 18, I wanted to travel and move away. My parents would've helped with expenses, but I feared the unknown and didn't do it.

Big mistake. When it comes to regretting things, it's not what we did that causes the most regret, but what we didn't do.

When I worry, "What will people think of me?" asking that is always in direct correlation to how judgmental I am of others. Projection, I think they call that?

I'm not on other's minds as much as I think I am.

Don't cede that promotion to him (boyfriend at the time) just because he needs it more. You'll live to regret it.

I initially thought my response was "Don't be so timid. Take more chances!"

But what I could not have known at the tender age of 18 was that the great gay plague was just around the corner. In hindsight, my timidness probably saved me. With age I eventually became less timid and my life (so far) has turned out pretty OK.

Your job in life is not to "help" and "fix" people.

Quite the opposite, in fact.

You're not responsible for learning other people's life lessons for them.

Don't get fat (160 then, 230 now - and I was heavier a few years ago)

Be kinder to yourself.

You think you're a 3, which fuels your insecurity, but at 18, you're really more of a 6. Some guys mature a little later, and yeah, at 18, you’re still a bit skinny and gawky and still very young teen-like looking. But by the time you fully mature around 24-25, you'll be an 8/9 in Midwest gay standards. Since you're in Los Angeles now, you'll be an solid 8 in LA terms.

Don't buy the car. Move to Great Britain instead.

Work to live. Don’t live to work.

Nothing, I wouldn't have listened.

Leave home as soon as you can, don't look back for ten years, and live YOUR life.

[quote] I initially thought my response was "Don't be so timid. Take more chances!"

Eldergay at r97, would you have followed your advice? I was a timid teenager, extremely anxious in fact. Feeling safe was my main goal back then. Not sure I would have had the strength to be bold. (And congrats on surviving the 'plague'.

Fuck everybody! Men are dogs!!

Leave Maryland and go to college in California. I only made the move about 15 years too late.

Also, move to Europe.

R106, you are correct. At 18, I would have listened but I would not have been able to act upon the advice. Six years later I began what would become a 25 year relationship with someone who patiently coached me out of my shell.

Don’t date people who came from a dysfunctional family.

Buy real estate in a gentrifying neighborhood (preferably in a big city), make improvements, and stick it out until you're ready to retire. Your investment will become your retirement funds.

Glenn (my first bf) is crazy. Kick his crazy ass to the curb, STAT.

Stay away from the datalounge

Yes you will achieve your dream. But write the new novel sooner.

Find Daniel P. Brown, Associate Clinical Professor of Psychology at Harvard Medical School.

Don’t get romantically involved with someone who can’t benefit you in some way. Stay away from poor immigrants from third world shitholes who can’t give you anything and will be a drain on you. If you’re going to marry a foreigner, make sure it’s someone from a decent European country so you can get a second citizenship there.

At some point, you’re going to get a job opportunity to work in Zurich. DO NOT TAKE IT.

Be more promiscuous

Retire early and save yourself a ton of headaches.

When I have trouble sleeping, one of the things I try is to imagine what I would tell myself if I could go back in time or even just send myself a letter, and the problem is that (like others have mentioned) how would I believe myself or any advice I could send? The conclusion I've reached is that I'd have to establish my bonafides and then drop the advice with the admonition to think about it, particularly in light of and pointing out that events that ensued are part of the overall issue. I even know the exact date that I would tell myself these things, and it would be hard for me as that 18-year-old to understand why I waited until [italic]after[/italic] the cataclysmic event to reach back, so part of what I would say to myself is to think about why, as an adult with perspective, I would not try to prevent the event, just how I responded and dealt with it.

So here goes: It's happened, you're right that she was a vindictive bitch cunt whore, but you knew that for almost a year before she did what she did. In the end you will realize she did you a massive favor and take some pleasure that she could not have possibly known what she did was to your benefit despite all outward indications in the present and for years to come. She wanted you to suffer. She wanted to humiliate you. She was never a good teacher, friend, mentor, or someone to trust. In fact, from this you learn to trust your gut, which you ignored when you got a glimpse of the kind of person she was in your very first one-on-one meeting. Move forward with the knowledge that she unwittingly saved you from a career that wouldn't have worked out. Do not spend so much time dwelling on it. Yes, your plans, the goals that you set out to achieve and did, and the accomplishments seem for naught. They are not. Do not spend the next year reeling from this life trajectory-altering series of events and give yourself permission to explore your options sooner.

Take heart that this experience will teach you how to deal with life's many curveballs.

Get a law degree instead of a degree in Modern Languages.

Don't get drunk and let the dirty man play in your hole, you will be sorry.

Do not go into the seminary. So many other ootions.

I’d tell myself that when I wake up at midnight one night, aged 19, with an urge to phone my brother, I really should act on it. I shouldn’t persuade myself that he will think I’m being a weirdo for phoning him for no good reason other than intuition. I shouldn't reason with myself that it can wait until the morning, because it can’t.

Phone him, because not making that phone call will haunt me for the rest of my days.

Take care, but be more slutty.

Don't bother coming out because it doesn't really get better.

I really wish I had been more accepting of the many older guys who propositioned me. Back then, I thought 30 year olds were ancient and decrepit! Now I'd kill to have a 30 year old in my bed!