Easy things you can’t do

Change a tire!

I’ve never been able to whistle.

I can't swim or dance.

Love.

You may find this thread of interest.

Ride a bike.

Roll dough.

you all sound mentally unfit

Dive.

Wink one eye

I can't whistle.

Correctly pronounce the word "Sword".

Compound miter cuts. They require Witchcraft.

I can’t drive a stick shift.

One of my greatest shames in life is that I’ve never been able to do a forward roll. I can remember gym glass in elementary school being particularly traumatizing when we got to the gymnastics part of the year. Couldn’t do a forward roll, a cartwheel or anything.

Also, I can’t roll my Rs

Use chopsticks.

Build Ikea furniture.

Me too, r15. I mean, I can use them but I find it so awkward and uncomfortable that I can’t enjoy the meal or conversation. I got over my embarrassment of asking for a fork years ago.

I’m an Asian who won’t use chopsticks. I can do it, but not well enough to enjoy a meal. My Caucasian friends make a point of using chopsticks whenever we go to a Chinese restaurant, and they make fun of me for choosing to use a fork—but I just want to relax and enjoy my food.

Tie a necktie. I mean, I can, sort of, but it's an absolute mess and I look like I've been sleeping it off in a gutter.

That is the correct way to wear a tie

Skate, any type. Ice, rollerskate, rollerblade - it's all a mess and I can't balance.

I just got out of a meeting in which I had to admit I have never been able to make a decent PowerPoint slide.

The thing that really irritates me is I KNOW I am smarter than half the people in my office who can whip them out with ease.

I just have some kind of block.

PowerPoint is of the devil, R22. I don’t want to get good at it, because I hate it.

I don't like the 'authenticated" username I chose when I signed up for DL years ago therefore, I never use it.

If I could change my authenticated name, I would use it but no-frills DL doesn't offer that option.

^ooops, that was meant for the "Underwhelmed" thread.

R3 you can’t swim???? 😱 How old are you?

I can’t do the Spock thing with my hands. My muscles are just not built like that.

I can draw children but cannot draw animals accurately and this is after years of practice. Anyone with any suggestions?

I can draw children but cannot draw animals accurately and this is after years of practice. Anyone with any suggestions?

R29 you can try sterilization.

r26, I recently celebrated the 30th anniversary of my 30th birthday!

R31 haha you’re cute. Are you black? When I moved to New York I never met so many people from tropical islands who can’t mafuckin swim.

^PA/NJ Italian.

R32 an Anglo poser

Whistle

Snap my. fingers

Play sports

Lick my own ass 👅

I submit that changing a tire (R1) is NOT easy!

I can't trill my R's.

r35, thanks for the reminder, I forgot to list "can't play sports". I think I block that little fact out of my mind as it is a source of many bad elementary/middle school memories.

Know my left from my right. Of course I know which is which, but when someone says "Take the one on the left" or "your right hand!" It stirs a complex serious of choices/questions to determine My right? Your right? Right from what/whose perspective? There is a split second of deciphering what is meant from the other person (who is almost never burdened with determining "Which right do you mean?")

It's less than a second's hesitation and unnoticed unless I ask a question for clarification, but it's always there. If I say "turn right" I always point the right that I mean or am careful to say "turn to your right"

Ride a bike

Whistle using my fingers

If it is an easy thiing to do and you can't do it doesn't that make it hard for you to do?

I couldn’t use a can opener until I was bout 30. And I’m not clumsy or non athletic. I just couldn’t get it. Sometimes I still be fucking it up lol.

I can't ice skate nor rollerblade. I think I have weak ankles.

And to be clear, I was a roller skating (traditional skates) fiend in the 70s. I wouldn't dare try now though.

Wipe my ass

R42 neither can you post on the D-Piddy Macy’s thread without revealing yourself as a psycho sock puppet.

Stay sober.

Stand in front of a full length mirror.

I cannot manage middling income and that’s pitifully cheap by DL standards - less than $100k per year in an urban environment.

I manage my money to the penny when times are bad or good, but this is boring.

Anything to do with computers or digital life. I.Cannot.Do.It.

I can't do that stupid dental floss dance or whatever you call it. I have rhythm and can dance but I can't master that. It's embarrassing when toddlers can do it so well.

I can’t ride a bike. It really bugs me. I’d love to be able to do it. I tried when I was a kid and it was just a disaster. I’d wobble along for a few seconds, then fall off or stop.

I’ve actually thought of trying again in my late forties, but a big fat bloke on a bicycle is an invitation to mockery.

10 Ridiculously Simple Things I Can’t Seem To Do

Bake anything more complicated than a mix.

I'm a good cook and rarely use recipes unless it's an unfamiliar dish, but it's an entirely different skill than baking.

The author of that article (R52) is exhausting and truly pathetic (if any of that shit is true).

I can’t pull up a roller blind. I have to ask someone to do it for me.

Baking well is much harder than cooking well. At home.

I'm a decent cook, but I can't get pancakes or crepes right for some reason.

Snap and whistle

Thread a needle

I can’t make a decent omelet. They never fold right.

Bend and snap.

R60 you’re flipping too fast. Even if it seems like it’s burning, it’s not. Also make sure your pan is relatively hot before pouring the eggs in. Obviously not burning but more than lukewarm. And are using butter for oil? It’s the only way to go for eggs to me. I used to suck at omelettes too ;).

^^^^Butter for oil? Is that like water for chocolate?

You still suck.

Whistle with my fingers

Pull out before I cum

r22/r23 PowerPoint is bullshit and I also fucking hate it. I wish it had never been invented.

R49 Did you compose your post on vellum with a quill pen?

[quote]The author of that article ([R52]) is exhausting and truly pathetic (if any of that shit is true).

Someday a potential employer is going to Google "Sam Dylan Finch" (he/them) and find them cannot schedule an appointment over the phone because of "anxiety," and drag the pdf resume into the recycle bin.

R19, unless you're a dandy (formerly known as a man who knows what his valet ought to know) who naturally knows which tie width, fabric, color/ornamentation and knot to choose for the occasion, shirt fabric, cut, color, and collar, as well as your own contours, what you're doing beats the capacity and interest of 95% of American men today.

Congratulations.

I am a speech writer and public speaker, but I still cannot say "longevity" right. Polysyllabic taxonomic descriptions in latin present no problem in a cold reading out loud.

Even as I type I can't remember what to do with that fucking "g." I would now say it like a Jersey girl when she's heading to the eastern part of Queens and wants to show off: "Long Guyland." Wrong, right?

Cut up a whole chicken. I try and try and it ends up looking like Frankenstein parts disassembled

I can't make my vagina whistle Dixie.

r70 is SO DL.

I can't suck a non-kosher schlong.

I eventually do it but have difficulty opening jars. I run them under hot water or try to pop the seal with a knife. I swear the whole time.

^ Mount Olive Kosher Dill Spears.

Lon-gev-i-ty

I can dance a tango, I can read Greek—easy. I can slay a dragon any old week—easy. What's hard is simple; what's natural comes hard.

Chang gears on a bike

R76

Take a spoon and tap around the edge of the lid. Then use the spoon as a lever under the lid - you should hear it pop and you can open it.

I'll try that, thanks!

Swim.

Almost drowned when I was 6, and been traumatized by pools/large bodies of water ever since.

I (can’t) dance, don’t ask me.

I don’t know how to play rock paper scissors.

[quote]Cut up a whole chicken. I try and try and it ends up looking like Frankenstein parts disassembled

This reminds me of when I took a cooking class and had to bone a chicken leg. The chef held mine up as an example of how not to do it.

Carry four plates of food on an arm

_ Failed waiter.

Parallel park; use a stick shift; change a tire.